Three Weeks Goes By Fast!

Wow! I've been really busy doing book work. Haven't been posting here too much.



Hey, can I just say something really amazing that keeps happening to me? It seems lately, when I have a question in mind, the answer will pop up in strange places.



Today, the answer came on an email list that I belong to. I was curious how people remain detached from issues surrounding their children when they are healing from codependency. I was going to post to the list, when I read down all the way to the bottom, and this one member had sort of like a tagline that she put at the bottom of her email. It has to be new, because I have never seen it before. It said, "~Don't see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study.~Max Lucado." Whoa!



Although that did help with some of the question, the meat of the question still remains...where do my rights end and my children's rights begin? Do I have the right to confiscate an MP3 player with music that is complete and total trash?



My son downloaded more music than he will ever live to listen to onto his iPod. Much of it was stuff he never even listens to. I was sitting at the computer the other day and his "side" was loaded. The screen contained his music list. Some of the titles were really out there. I asked him to come downstairs so we could discuss what I was seeing. One of the songs was by The Dead Kennedys. I don't even want to say what the title was, it was so offensive. When I played the song for him, he was shocked that this band would play such a song. He actually had a visceral reaction to it and almost threw up.

Let me just say, I have worked a lot on this with Kim, releasing my expectations of how my children "should" act, look, and behave. I have such a hard time with releasing these things and letting the kids be themselves.

My middle child, the same one as above, has a giant rebellious streak. He grows his hair long (and sometimes wears it in liberty spikes), dresses in lots of black clothes, and listens to strange music. It's hard for others to know who he is, because he shows this tough guy image, but he's a really nice kid. He tells me it's a "test" to see who his friends are.

I know I shouldn't worry. He's very well liked by classmates and many teachers. And his friends are really good kids. I guess I just feel the judgement of the other parents when they see him. Thank God his two best friend's parents know me. The one friend is the son of the neighborhood pediatrician, the other is the son of the pastor of a church. And these are the things I am working at letting go of...appearances.

But what of the iPod? The stuff that is directly affecting their hearts. I can deal with the superficial nonsense of the hair and the clothes, but what about what they see and watch every day? Our kids are exposed to so much today, and so fast, it's really alarming. It seems I can't even protect them from this stuff, it comes at us so fast. The two younger boys (15 and 13) have both already seen 'R' rated movies with their friends at sleepovers and parties.

So, back to the Lucado quote. I guess I'm fumbling with not trying to rewrite the characters, while trying to ensure that the book has a happy ending. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys!