Tuesday, 11/06/07

Good News! My husband is done with the courts. Praise God! From what I could understand from my husband yesterday morning, the DA cut a deal with my husband's attorney/my husband that gives him a conditional dismissal and his record will be permanently sealed. I don't know what the conditions are yet, but he still has to speak with his attorney.

I saw a quote today that really hit me between the eyes and was very well timed. This was most definitely a "God thing." It went, "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen." I wish I could give the proper credit, but I can't seem to find who it originated with.

If I could tell you all the ways in which I needed to hear this last night...was I ever ugly! The saga starts like this...my mother in law doesn't usually invite us to dinner unless she needs something. Although I am glad to catch up with them regularly and had been calling at least once a week, it seems lately there has to be a reason for us to come over. Alright, they are getting up there in age, I don't really mind helping out in any way. But...don't make a dinner with your family the reward for helping you out. I am not that bad a cook that I need to work for food.

Anyhow, her daughter, my sister in law, needed some help moving some furniture up to her attic where she has her bedroom. My SIL is an alcoholic, not sober, but going to meetings. So my MIL offered my husband and the rest of the family dinner in exchange for us moving her stuff. Grrrr....

When we got there, my MIL had just finished washing, drying, and folding about twenty loads of laundry of my SILs. Why??? Pondering that myself...

So here is my husband, myself, and my father in law (73 years old) schlepping furniture up these narrow attic stairs without the help of my SIL, who is my build and only about seven years older. Why??? Hmmm....

So, we ate dinner, including SIL and her two boys. Her younger son is very aggressive and started beating up on my daughter. This is where I get ugly...my daughter started crying that her cousin was "attacking" her, and both my MIL and SIL told her that he is not trying to hurt her, he's not going to hurt you....totally dismissing my daughter's pain and feelings. We left shortly after that display.

Brining me to last night...my SIL called, drunk. I didn't know this at first because she has been in a lot of pain with her TMJ and I thought her garbled speech was due to the discomfort, so I continued talking to her. I figured it out when she started professing her undying love for me as her only sister and kept telling me how tired she was. Meanwhile, she tells me that my in laws are going to cosign on a mortgage so she can keep the house, once she divorces her husband. Not my business.

Here is where my frustration comes out. My middle son is having his scoliosis surgery on November 20th. MIL asked about it, when, where. Do you think she would offer to babysit for my other children while my husband and I are at the hospital? Hell no! She's too GD busy washing my SIL's laundry and arranging for us to move her furniture! Wake up, Gail! You have more than one child, and your son and grandson need you right now!

So there it is...I expected my MIL to offer help, she didn't, and then I was resentful. I need to have that quote emblazened on my heart, "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

I must now defend my MIL. I did not ask for her help. My bad. When I need help, I need to ask for it and not expect people to trip over themselves offering help. My problem is I am afraid that when I ask for help, the person will say no, and I will just risk looking incompetent. I'm one sick puppy.