Step Six

Yesterday in group, I shared Step Six, *finally*. It went well, considering all of the other work Kim had me share. The good news is that I'm on to Step Seven now, and won't share for a few weeks. I think it will take that long for my tongue and salivary glands to recover. And everyone's ears too!

I went out with my husband for dinner last night after the meeting and I told him I shared Step Six. He said, "That's good. I know you were having problems 'getting ready.'" After we came home and were tucked into bed, I told him, "One of the reasons I think I've had such a hard time is because I'm afraid that if God takes all of my character defects I'll be devoid of personality." Has anyone else ever felt that way?

I've come to enjoy my sarcasm (and the sarcasm of others), especially when relating it to this coaddiction stuff. Sometimes I see my stubbornness as an asset, like perseverence. And it's kind of funny when P calls me Mr. Monk when I start getting "too perfect" for him. I was a little afraid to make the jump, not only because of the huge purposes the character defects were filling in my life, but also because I was afraid of being a Jesus Zombie Slave or something. Know what I mean?

Every now and then, I enjoy a good off color joke. Nothing hurtful, just nothing I would share with my children either. For example...(if you are easily offended by dirty jokes, stop here. If not, read on. Lil, I take comfort in knowing that you are one that will keep reading.)

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red.

One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" "No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

I love that joke. But is it "Jesus Approved?" I'm really afraid to lose my sense of humor. It gets me through so much pain, it really does. And I love to laugh and smile and be happy. I just can't recall anywhere in the bible where milk comes out of Jesus' nose after hearing the one about the priest and the rabbi in the airplane from Peter. Although, the visual is making me grin.

I'm sorry. I mean no disrespect. But what is it about Jesus that makes me feel like I have to be so serious?

Too late, come what may. I'm finally ready.